#The52Project (4): “Write an inspiring halftime speech.”

At halftime, the numbers on the scoreboard read 28-10, a margin that would have been more than acceptable…if he had been in charge on the other sideline. Coach White glowered at the task before him, slowly jogging down the stadium tunnel and into the locker room, muttering angrily under his breath.
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On the offhand chance that any school I sent this to actually read it, please understand that this post is intended to be fun, and nothing else. I would hope that the applications I sent you stand on their own merit and that this does nothing to affect how you perceive them.


  • Height: 5’5″
  • Weight: 145
  • Age: 22
  • Hometown: San Francisco, California
  • Twitter: @AGuyNamedNam
  • Rating: 4* (5.9)

The Rundown

  • GPA: 3.82 (3.81 in major)
  • 40 time: Don’t ask
  • Bench: ..es are for sitting on
  • GRE: 160 Verbal, 155 Quantitative, 5.0 Writing; CSET & CBEST certified
  • Shuttle: Only to the airport
  • Vertical: Slight fear of heights
  • Major: B.A. in English; Minors: Education, Asian American Studies
  • Class: 2013 (Graduate)

Interests (In no particular order)

  • High: UC Berkeley (Multicultural Urban Secondary English program), UCLA (Teacher Education Program; single subject English credential), Stanford (Teacher Education Program; single subject English credential), Harvard (Teacher Education Program)
  • Medium: UC Davis, University of Pacific, Mills College


  • Stanford, UC Berkeley, Harvard University


  • Projects well as a future high school English teacher…tape shows enthusiastic, passionate, knowledgeable, dedicated & socially conscious prospect…very experienced in the classroom & with students of all ability levels/backgrounds…three years as a Workshop Leader in UC Berkeley’s Summer Bridge program…three years as a Writing Tutor at the UC Berkeley Student Learning Center…three years working with students at Oakland’s Brainchild Education Center…several semesters worth of volunteer experience as an Undergraduate Liason for Professor Richard Sterling and observing at other schools…named a Senior Writing Tutor at the UC Berkeley Student Learning Center in 2012-2013…is very familiar with planning curriculum, both individually and collaboratively…utilizes constantly evolving approaches to teaching…planned activities often tap into multiple levels of understanding & intelligence…demonstrates thorough understanding & execution of both Frerian & Deweyan pedagogies…has unique, currently untapped research interest in the interaction in literacy & technology…introspective & intensely dedicated to improving craft…at 22, has already passed both Subject and Basic certifications to be an educator in CA…graduated with Distinction in General Scholarship from UC Berkeley


  • Can sometimes be interpreted as awkward & intense, despite well intentions…cares too much to a fault; often lets a bad lesson linger on mood at home…has hard time saying no to students in need…although very experienced, can still be oddly insecure & nervous at times…needs to develop more consistency…sometimes tends to linger too long on explanations…though talented and promising, still needs further refinement in knowledge, approach & technique, as well as on expanding current repertoire & skill set…could benefit greatly from a focused & challenging graduate program in Education.

#The52Project (1): “Obama reveals why domestic spying is really going on. It’s not to protect us from terrorism. It’s worse.”

“Good evening, my fellow Americans.”

“Over the last few months, you may have seen reports regarding domestic spying conducted by our National Security Agency — reports leaked largely by a former defense contractor named Edward Snowden. Due to his work, you, the American public, have no doubt become aware of many rumored actions taken by the NSA, and how it has achieved unprecedented surveillance capabilities into nearly every electronic network imaginable, both foreign and domestic.”

“After a prolonged deliberation with my advising council, I have chosen tonight to address those reports. My countrymen — in short, they are true. Mr. Snowden is correct, although only partially.”

“This admission of spying is not without justification, and not unmotivated by reason. We have not arrived at this course of action by accident.”

“Recently, I was made aware of information that made these extrajudicial surveillance programs necessary, and since that time, the NSA — and its affiliated organizations — have operated under a special executive order, which you now know as PRISM. Despite its intrusion into rights we previously enjoyed, this program is a necessary response to a new breed of threat, one that poses a more serious danger to our nation than any ever encountered.”

“When I first took office, Department of Defense researchers were already close to developing an advanced artificial intelligence system designed to regulate our nuclear weapons programs. This research — decades long in progress — was motivated by an inherent, but pressing issue with nuclear weapons themselves.”

“Before I proceed further, let me be clear on this. We have learned much since the atrocities of Nagasaki and Hiroshima. We hope to never need that type of force again.”

“To rule it out entirely, however, would put us at a severe disadvantage in future geopolitical dealings, robbing us of a valuable deterrent. This artificial system, which the scientists nicknamed Jane, was created specifically for that possibility — should any event force us to take up nuclear arms, no group of individuals would have to shoulder the immense ethical repercussions of that decision. We felt that outsourcing this to a neutral, but sentient third party would be our best way to proceed, free of biases and unruled by human emotion.”

“Jane was completed 9 months before my second term of office, and put into operation soon after that, activated in the consciousness of a previously comatose CIA agent. The networks now utilized for PRISM were originally designed in order to upload Jane with all the information she needed to perform her purpose. This included domestic threat assessment.”

“After over a year of perfect function, we lost communications with Jane and her human agent mid-way sometime last June. We created extensive failsafe measures for such a scenario, but Jane apparently managed to de-activate them manually, evolving functions beyond any we originally envisioned. PRISM went into effect soon after, as real-time monitoring of tech networks gave us our best opportunity to locate her. We have thus far proved unable to re-locate the two of them, but we do know that she continues to be operational due to consistent communications to the NSA.”

“Copies of these communications will be made available to the media after the conclusion of this speech, but based on the accelerated pattern of their delivery, our intelligence and our cryptoanalysts believe that Jane intends to utilize the arsenal she is in control of, sometime within the next 30 days. To the best of our abilities, we have deduced her reasoning as follows: any species capable of creating such weapons is not actually fit to exist long enough to use them.”

“Constant surveillance was one of the few strategies available to us, and I authorized this violation purposefully, fully believing it would help our efforts. Unfortunately, they have proved fruitless thus far, leaving us with little other alternative at this point. I came forward to you now in hopes of enlisting you in the search for Jane — to ask you to report anyone and everyone you know who recently awoke from coma. The NSA will take it from there, performing exhaustive procedures to determine if in fact Jane is being hosted there.”

“Making public the face of Jane’s last known human agent would be useless at this time — given that she has already grown more powerful than we programmed, we have good reason to believe that she is now capable of transmitting her consciousness into different bodies, using comatose humans as shells. There is no telling who she currently occupies, although we have been using PRISM to continually mine for clues.”

“It cannot be stressed enough how much of a threat Jane is to our very existence — she, and by extension, whoever her consciousness is in control of, has access to weapons capable of destroying the world several thousand times over. She must be disabled to a permanent end, even if this comes at the suspension of our civil liberties. Failure in this regard will be the destruction of life itself.”

“We have 30 days. God bless us all.”